Thursday, December 23, 2010

Fading into the abyss of uncertanty

Fading...Fading away...fading into what?
The walls are closing in...loneliness is just a blurr
the more I learn the less I understand
The more I know the more I wish I could forget
The negative thoughts and reactions bruise me deep
Deep enough to wonder when they will heal.
When will the black and blue subside?
For the first time in my life I feel the desire to need someone
I guess Im lucky to have made it this far without it.
Strength is a virtue
but to become strong you must face and conquer battles
I know nothing is forever but sometimes waiting for something feels like an eternity.



“When I was a girl, my life was music that was always getting louder.  Everything moved me.  A dog followed a stranger.  That made me feel so much.  A calendar that showed the wrong month.  I cried over it…I spent my life learning to feel less.” ~ Incredibly Loud and Extremely Close by John Safran Foer



Its amazing how our choices and decisions now, can not only effect ourselves and the people around us at present...but the generations of our offspring decades from now. Its a trickle effect. What once burdened us will likely burden our offspring. The way we handle situations, will be the way generation after generation of our bloodline handle the same situations. Its a learned behavior. By being aware of it the pace CAN be changed.